Are you holding yourself back?
We often hold onto narratives that served a purpose at one time in our lives and then somehow we forget we're even holding onto it. It's just like that pesky hair tie that's perpetually around our wrist. We go on with our daily lives holding onto it "just in case" and then one day we see it around our wrist in a picture and we wonder why we didn't take it off. When we finally do, there is an imprint, but overtime it fades away.
Today, I'm asking you to take the time to reflect on your own narratives, those narratives you’ve likely forgotten you've been holding onto, the narratives that’ve been there for soooo long they've been imprinted on your spirit and can just as easily fade away, if you'd like them to. Ask yourself if the narrative is serving you any longer. If it isn't, I invite you to let it go.
Here are a few of my go-to's. Hopefully, I'm not the only one.
1. I'm an Independent Woman.
Don't get me wrong, I want you to be an independent woman. Let me say it again, more slowly this time: I want you to be an independent woman. It's when we use this seemingly harmless narrative to refuse help, when we use it as an excuse for not being where we actually want to be, and when we use it to block potential partnerships that it becomes an issue worth examining. You know what I'm talking about; that "I'VE GOT THIS" syndrome, or the "there's no space for you here" need for control. If you're an independent woman, and I hope that you are, I want you to think about how this narrative shows up in your life. Is it an empowering narrative that helps you move forward with grace and ease? Or is it a defense mechanism and an excuse to play small? It's possible to be an independent woman and accept, and even ask for help. It doesn't make you dependent; it just makes you human. We're better together. Remember that.
2. When ___________happens, I'll be happy.
I mean you gotta have goals. I want you to work towards something meaningful; it gives us purpose. At the same time, making our happiness conditional is dangerous. I hear this all the time: I'll be happy when I have that job, when I get married, when I move into my dream house. It's those narratives that keep us from feeling happy in the present moment, that keep us from celebrating our daily lives. The reality is, you can be happy now. Happiness is a choice; it's a mindset and you have all the power to decide you’re going to be happy now. You don't have to wait for it, and that's the best part.
3. If I want it done right, I have to do it myself.
Just ask yourself this one question. Does Oprah do it all herself? Clearly, she doesn’t and if Oprah’s not doing everything herself, well, then I don’t have to either.
Take some time to reflect which narrative are you holding onto? How’s it playing out in your life? Is it still serving you? If not, find a new one. I can help.